Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
