She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
