what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
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