If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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