wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
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