this beer tastes like vomit already
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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