Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize