im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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