You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
