I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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