is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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