She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
