I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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