Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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