then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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