We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
