She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize
