Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Randomize
