Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
