'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
BRING THE BAGELS
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
