I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
