What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
