Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
