for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
we should paint friendship bongs
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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