Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
