Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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