ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans

  (1-610): View more from Pennsylvania

  who is canola oil?

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  you're an idiot.

  Fav 64 3493 1299

  share tweet
  

• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?

  (1-920): View more from Wisconsin

  no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  he wasn't. neither were you.

  Fav 16 7485 1556

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (414): View more from Wisconsin

  a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...

  Fav 32 2103 7478

  share tweet
  

• (214): View more from Texas

  We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now

  Fav 3 2227 1102

  share tweet
  

• (678): View more from Georgia

  Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.

  Fav 18 932 2101

  share tweet
  

• (503): View more from Oregon

  He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness

  Fav 2 881 611

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (702): View more from Nevada

  Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank

  Fav 6 717 1188

  share tweet
  

• (315): View more from New York

  It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.

  Fav 3 1319 567

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?

  Fav 1 1078 497

  share tweet
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today

  Fav 0 663 466

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE

  Fav 1 11 58

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (650): View more from California

  that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.

  Fav 0 11 46

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.

  (607): View more from New York

  OMG THE ANT WON

  Fav 0 59 8

  share tweet
  

• (317): View more from Indiana

  You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..

  Fav 0 6 42

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.

  Fav 0 14 54

  share tweet
  

Randomize