So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
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He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
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Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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