I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
