He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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