Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
No subtext here. People are naked.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
