I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
