Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
