So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
whose ass print is on the piano?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
