I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
