I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
