It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
