So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
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