capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
third nipple confirmed
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
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