i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
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