If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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