Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
