I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
zippers are such a cool invention
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
