giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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