There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
You have to summon your inner elephant
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
