i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
