Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
