I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
