whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize