i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Randomize
