My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
