sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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