all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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