Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
