You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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