How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
