I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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