and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
she smelled like a LAN party
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
