Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
