dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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