Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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