I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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