if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Randomize
